Bribing God?

Some people (read myself) when sinning in one area, try to make up in another area, because on the one hand they feel guilty, but on the other hand are not ready/willing to hand this area over to God/return to God, and so out of guilt they try to excel in other areas of life.

An example would be that a person has wronged another person and knows this to be the case and indeed feels guilty about it, but does not approach the other for forgiveness. The feeling of guilt remains and in order to compensate he or she tries to act more kindly to others and perform other good deeds.

I have done this myself as well and always felt unsatisfied, hearing a voice that said, yes I see your good deeds but how about that area.

It never dawned on me that this could be seen as trying to bribe God until I read this idea:

“If the sinner does not return to the Blessed One, his sin will not be atoned by an act of lovingkindness, as it is written (Deuteronomy 10:17): “Who does not show favor and does not take bribes,” which our Sages have interpreted (Yalkut Shimoni, Mishlei 947): “He does not take mitzvos as a bribe for overlooking transgressions.”" The Ways of the Righteous, p.497

Honour your Parents: Silence

A friend gave me a commentary on Ethics of the Fathers by the Ben Ish Chai (R. Yosef Chaim) and his son. Its quite deep and contains every now and then aramaic words making it not easy to understand. But while reading the short biography of the Ben Ish Chai I came across an inspiring story which I thought would be nice to share:

The father of the Ben Ish Chai, Rabbi Eliyahu Chaim, was a big Rabbi who answered many halachic (legal) questions but once there came some people who posed a question to which he did not know the answer. His son, the Ben Ish Chai, at that time in his 20s however did know the answer but did not want to say it in the presence of his father and the one’s that asked for the sake of his father’s honour, so instead when they left he sent them a written note with the answer to their question.

I thought this was very inspiring and it reminded me of the attitude of my cousins in the village my father is from; you would never see them openly contradict their father or do something that would negatively impact their father’s honour.

I find this harder myself as my society differs quite a lot from theirs, not to mention the Ben Ish Chai’s (Bagdad, 1850) but still think its a worthy example to follow as honouring parents remains relevant in any society.

Anger & Idolatry

Ive heard several times that the Sages link anger with idolatry. I always wondered on which they based this and my theory was that they did so because in the moment of anger you dont trust God for being the Sustainer and Provider anymore but put your trust in yourself.

But here is a pasage from the Talmud that deals with it:

If one tears his garments, or scatters his money, or breaks his vessels in his anger, he should be in your eyes as one who serves idols. For such is the craft of the evil inclination. Today he tells a man, ‘Do this,’ and tomorrow he tells him. ‘Go and serve idols,’ and he goes! In this connection it is written (Tehillim 81:10): ‘Let there not be in you a strange god.’ Which is the ‘strange god’ in a man’s body? The evil inclination.” Shabbat 105b

And the book where I read this – The Ways of the Righteous - adds:

Observe how one’s evil inclination intensifies in the time of his anger. p. 243

So it seems they deduce from the verse in Psalms that the evil inclination can be seen as a strange god in your body and when yielding to it, it is as if you yield to an idol.

Things Learned While Teaching Today

At my university I am a Teaching-Assistant for Accounting and today was the start of a new class.

With new classes I have found that it is quite important to establish from day one how things are going and how you will relate to them and how you expect them to relate to yourself; in other words, ‘whose the boss’

This can be done in various ways and I in general try to be a friendly though making it very clear that the authority in the class belongs to me. As such I dont shy away from conflicts if needs be though try to communicate in a way that makes them realize that its only in their  best interest to pay attention and that my main intention is to help them learn something and pass the course.

My first class today was very silent (probably shocked by the amount of work that they need to do ) and so there was no need to establish authority as they naturally accepted it. But the second class was a bit different.

It wasnt chaos but there were several people who were constantly chatting with each other and a few that came in late (more than 15 minutes). One of those that came late even had the guts to say the reason he was late was because he was taking a shower (it was 15.25 by that time!).

After some remarks it didnt really stop and I noticed that I started to use more specific remarks and in a quasi-funny way poked fun with the ones that were talking. Whether this was intentional or because I just felt I had to stand up to them I dont really know but while thinking about it later I realized that it wasnt right.

In a subtle but sharp way I had embarassed some students in front of their peers and now that Im thinking about it, I think I did it mainly because of my own insecurity. Which is understandable (yes Im good at defending myself) as its a class of almost 40 students that are like 2 years younger than me and some even closer to my age. There are even some students I followed classes with myself!

So in some way, especially the first day, I feel I have to show them that Im in control and cannot give them the idea that they can fool around with me. Which worked but not in a desirable way. As I think my authority should not be based on students being afraid to be embarassed in public but rather in that I have something to teach them.

There is a teaching in The Ways of the Righteous that bears on this:

“How should one reprove his friend? In the beginning, in private and gently; but if in the beginning he rebukes him in public and humiliates him, he sins thereby (Arachin 16b)“

Inspiration for the Week

Here’s a line from the Talmud (b. Shabbat 88b) about righteous people that I find inspiring and hope to carry with me this week:

“They are shamed, but do not shame in return; they hear their disgrace, but do not answer; they serve out of love and rejoice in afflictions. About them it is written (Judges 5:31): ‘And those who love Him will be as the going forth of the sun in its strength.’”